What Every Woman Ought to Know about Self-Defense

The Anatomy of an Attack and How to Deal with One

Why Do Attacks Happen?

Your attacker's thoughts and emotions are the largest factor in an attack. He feels the need to dominate and control you. The majority of assaults on women and children are planned well in advance.

Despite the mistaken idea that some women "ask" to be attacked, you cannot make someone attack you unless THEY decide to become aggressive or abusive.

What you wear, say, do, or where you are has little to do with the attack, although it may offer an opportunity at the time or be used as an excuse later.A person attacks because they want to and think they’ll be able to get away with it.

Typical Attacks

The majority of attackers are larger and stronger than the victim. Your attacker is usually male, though occasionally females can commit violent acts too. In more than ¾ of all attacks on women, the attacker is known to her. The most common place for an attack to happen is in a home - yours, his, or someone else's. The second most common place is in a motor vehicle. Lights and people inhibit the attacker, but attacks still happen in well lit areas and/or with people around.

Are You Being Paranoid or Sensibly Cautious?

If you maintain a relaxed awareness as you go about your day-to-day life, paying attention to what is going on around you, you're more likely to see and react to potentially risky situations before they occur. Your intuition or hunches are triggered by a heightened awareness of subtle signals put out by a person's body language or subtle changes in your environment.

While some attacks are sudden and straightforward, many begin with actions that are designed to test you or put you off guard. He may be saying one thing and doing another. Pay attention to his behaviour and what he says.  Previous good behaviour is not a guarantee that he won't attack you. The safest thing you can do is act on those hunches and remove yourself from that situation. It is easier to analyze a problem when you’re not in the middle of it.

All this being said, if you walk around nervously alert constantly anticipating an attacker hidden around every corner, you hamper your intuition with false alarms, making it harder for you to recognize real intuitive signals when they actually occur.

Verbal Self-Defense

A large number of attacks start out with a verbal exchange.  If someone is being verbally aggressive or is trying to make you do something you don’t want to do, be assertive. If you mean no, say no, clearly and unapologetically. Don’t be surprised if your attacker doesn't take no for an answer. He may believe that when a woman says "no", she really means "yes", "maybe" or "wait awhile". Or he may just not want to listen. You may need to say no louder or in other ways to get his attention.

If he doesn't leave you alone, you may have to do more. You may need to leave the situation or use physical resistance.

The Element of Surprise

No matter how much an assailant may know about attacking, he has no idea what you can or will do in reaction. He doesn’t expect you to fight back effectively.  If he did, he probably wouldn’t have chosen you as a target. He likely expects you to cry, cringe, plead, or scream and struggle. Attackers tend to pick on smaller, weaker people and believe that no woman is a match for them. In a fair fight, he may be right.

An assault is not fair. When you use self-defense effectively, he will be the one who is surprised and incapacitated. Then, you escape.

Should You Fight Back Physically?

Some people are of the opinion that women shouldn't try to defend themselves.  No one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do in a situation.  It is a choice each woman needs to make for herself.

Defending yourself starts with the same determination that most mothers feel in protecting their children. If someone told you that you shouldn't defend your 3-year-old child, what would you think?

Determination to succeed is a key factor in the decision to resist an attack. Thousands of women have defended themselves successfully. Most without ever taking a self-defense class.

Only you can make the decision to fight back or not. Even the choice of remaining passive is personally yours. You will decide what it best for you at that time.  A little knowledge is only dangerous when you think it is a lot. Anything that you learn can expand your horizons and increase your survival potential.

Studying self-defense gives you more options in avoiding or escaping an attack. You can maximize the possible strategies that you could choose to use.

Is it Dangerous to Fight Back?

Not fighting back can be even more dangerous. 62% of sexual assault victims are injured in other ways during the assault.

Your chances of getting away dramatically increase the more active your strategies are. Being vocal is a good start. Even screaming and flailing your arms is more effective than cringing and pleading. Physical strategies like a knee to the groin or a kick in the shins can increase your escape potential. The more strategies you use, the better.

Responding sooner improves your chances of escape. Whatever you choose to do, pick techniques that you are willing to follow through with. Deciding not to physically resist is an option. Only you can evaluate your own personal situation and determine what is right for you at the time.

What is the Best Way to Defend Yourself?

Make Noise!

“Running, shouting and striking frequently results in interrupted attacks.”
(Queen’s Bench Foundations Project; Rape Response v.s. Department of Justice, 1976)

  • Make as much noise as possible using your surroundings.
  • When attacking the attacker, yell and shout, but keep it short—no longer than 1 second.
  • Use the words NO or STOP.
  • No attacker wants to be detected. Noise can be the key to your escape.

Get Away!

  • Run, if possible.
  • Run toward houses with lighted windows, other people, escape routes.
  • Put barriers between you and your attacker.
  • Use objects as distractions.
  • Know and use available escape routes in and around your home.
  • Keep aware of your surroundings.

Attack the Attacker!

  • Breathe. Flare your nostrils.
  • Don’t freeze. Try to stay calm.
  • Turn your fear into anger.
  • Fight as though someone were assaulting a loved one (e.g. child, mother, sister, etc.)
  • Position yourself. Turn and face the attacker so they can’t attack you from behind. 
  • Take a defensive stance with your weight balanced over both feet and your hands up to protect yourself.
  • Maintain eye contact.
  • Protect your head.
  • Strike back at your attacker, shouting NO, STOP or LET ME GO! with each strike.
  • If attacked in a public area, yell FIRE!

Should I Take a Self-Defense Course?

Personal awareness and street safety are important for every woman to learn in today’s society.  Most self-defense courses cover these concepts in addition to physical defense.  A martial art that focuses on practical self-defense can also be helpful, but don’t necessarily cover personal awareness and street safety in detail in their curriculum.  Either way, the more you put into learning physical tactics, the better equipped you’ll be should ever need to defend yourself.