When I was growing up, I never knew any adults who were laid off or lost their jobs. My parents both had stable jobs for the government and were never laid off even once in their entire careers. Boy, was I in for a shock when I entered the full-time work world myself. When I first started my adult working life, I began with a full-time career in marketing. Since then, I got laid off 3 times in 4 years as poor economies induced cutbacks in companies I worked for.

The first time I was laid off, I was devastated, but since then I’ve learned that being laid off can be a wonderful life-changing experience if you approach it the right way. Below are some tips for getting the most out of lay-offs.

1. Regroup Emotionally. The first time I was laid off, I was devastated. I was completely blind-sided by it. I had been making all my goals at work. I got along well with all the other staff. No one ever took issue with me for any reason. I felt hurt even though I was told it was purely because of cut-backs. My first day after being laid off I woke up feeling at a loss, not knowing what to do. I re-organized my kitchen cabinets, and after that was done, I went back to bed and cried. I spent that first day allowing my emotional reaction to run its course, talking things through with people I loved. The next day, I took the opportunity to say goodbye to the people I worked with. Though not the norm, me and my friends from work organized a goodbye party so I could have a few drinks with everyone and say goodbye properly. My emotional reaction was different each of the 3 times of I was laid off, but each time I took the time to let it run its course so that I can move forward anew with a fresh mind, leaving the baggage behind.

2. Assess the Situation. Take an honest look at your finances so you can budget accordingly. How much of a severance package did you get? Will you qualify for employment insurance? Is your spouse earning an income? Do you have an emergency fund? Do you have other forms of income? Once you’ve figured out what money/income you have, determine what ways you’ll have to budget and/or how long your funds will last while you figure out a new way to replace the lost income.

3. Explore Your Skills & Passions. As you start figuring out your next move, take the time to explore your passions, the things that get you excited about life. What things do you do that thrill you? Have you always wanted to do something, but held back for whatever reason? Consider what skills you have to offer the world, not just the ones you been paid to do in jobs. Which ones do you enjoy using most? You can then use the information gleaned from this exercise to help give yourself direction. The thing I liked doing most was teaching and training in martial arts. While my dojo wasn’t yet at the point that I could make it a primary income, it did help me consider ways that I could focus on it more as I had found that working a full-time job was sapping the energy I needed to move my business forward. I ended up doing part-time marketing contract work from my home, giving me the time and flexibility I needed to focus on growing my dojo.

4. Decide What You Really Want. Having explored your skills and passions, it is equally if not more important to decide what your ideal lifestyle is. Where do you want to live? Do you want to have children? Do you want to be an entrepreneur? Or do you prefer working for other people? What kind of house do you want to live in? What kind of activities do you want to be able to do? Write it all down in as much detail as you can imagine. This is a great reference point from which you can start figuring out what to do with your life in the present moment.

5. Take Steps Toward Your Ideal Lifestyle. Your ideal lifestyle may be something requiring long-term development. Or it may be something you can easily conceive yourself attaining. Whatever it is, start taking steps toward it once you have it figured out. If you don’t know how exactly you’ll achieve your ideal lifestyle, start by doing little things you can do right now that get you a little closer. My dream is to own a large plot of land on which I can build a comfortable home and my dream dojo, where I will live a life devoted to my passions, martial arts and writing, with a few hobbies on the side to keep things interesting. When I first wrote down that intention, I didn’t know how I would achieve it. I still don’t, but I took steps toward it, whatever I could do. I’ve moved our dojo into its own location to give me space to grow. I’ve started new programs I would enjoy teaching that would increase our student base. I’ve saved and invested as much of my money as I could afford. I’m not there yet, but I certainly am closer to my ideal lifestyle than I was before.

6. Work Out. Once you decide what you want to do, it can can consume you. You may feel pressure to find a job fast and spend all your time researching opportunities or sending resumes. Some people also have difficulty figuring out what they should do next, and can become consumed with inaction as they while away hours with petty distractions like watching TV or playing video games. If you’re not working, you may as well work out! Getting exercise helps you reduce stress, increase productivity and confidence, and raise your level of happiness. Focusing on something other than your work situation can also help you think creatively about what to do next. After my first lay-off, I took up MMA training, learning new skills that I would later apply for self-defense, incorporating them into what I taught in my own classes. Some of what I learned was later incorporated into the ground defense book I wrote for Tuttle Publishing. Of course, not everyone is into martial arts, but you can certainly get great insights and inspiration while running, doing yoga, or doing whatever you like to do to keep fit.

7. Appreciate the Present Moment. While it is useful to have a sense of direction and a vision of your future, it’s important to appreciate the life you are living in the present moment. Otherwise, you’ll always be caught up in wanting what you don’t have, not enjoying your life as it unfolds. Life is lived in the present moment so if you are always caught up with thoughts of yearning, you don’t enjoy your life as it unfolds. Make the most of your current situation and the experiences you have in it. Find things to be grateful for, your family, your friends, your home, anything and everything you appreciate around you. Be thankful for all you have. No matter what your situation is, there is someone out there that would rather be in your shoes.

Each time I got laid off, I got a little better at “being laid off.” I now look back on each experience as having been a positive change in my life that nudged me in the direction of what I really wanted. I now live a life of meaning that is almost entirely focused on my passions in large part thanks to the way I approached being laid off.

Have you ever been laid off? What helped you get the most of the experience? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Tags: job loss | laid off | lay-off | mindfulness